Telling friends and family that you’re pregnant is an exciting milestone. But it can also feel daunting to decide when and how you should break the news. This guide covers everything you need to consider when planning your pregnancy announcement.
Deciding When to Announce
One of the biggest decisions is choosing when to share your happy news. Here are some things to think about:
- After 12 week scan? Many couples wait until after their 12 week scan when the risk of miscarriage drops significantly. This also allows time for any difficult decisions if tests reveal complications.
- Before 12 weeks? Alternatively, some women announce earlier, reasoning they’d want support from loved ones if the worst did happen. There’s no right or wrong answer here.
- Unplanned announcements Sometimes morning sickness or your expanding waistline means your pregnancy becomes obvious before you’ve made a planned announcement. Don’t worry – embrace it and tell people as soon as you need to.
How Long Should You Wait Before Announcing?
Choosing when to announce your pregnancy news is a very personal decision. Here are some extra pros and cons of announcing before and after 12 weeks:
Announcing before 12 weeks
Pros:
- You may want support from loved ones early on
- You won’t have to keep your news secret as long
Cons:
- Risk of upsetting others if pregnancy ends
- Having to ‘untell’ people if complications arise
Announcing after 12 weeks
Pros:
- Lower risk of pregnancy loss to deal with
- Reassurance from seeing a healthy scan
Cons:
- Harder to keep it secret with symptoms/weight gain
- Having to cover up bump and dodge questions
There’s no perfect timing, so go with what feels right for you and your circumstances.
Who to Tell First
It’s useful to plan who you want to tell first and in what order. Some suggestions:
- Your parents and partner’s parents
- Siblings, grandparents and extended family
- Close friends
- Your children
- Your GP for maternity care planning
- Your dentist for free dental care
- Your employer (but not necessarily yet – see below)
How to Tell Close Family
Breaking the news to parents and close family can be done in whichever way you choose. Consider:
- Telling them face-to-face over dinner
- Calling them on the phone
- Sending a text or video call if they live far away
- Telling both sets of parents together
If you want to keep it quiet for now, insist parents don’t let the news slip early.
Involving Your Partner
While the pregnancy is happening in your body, remember to involve your partner in the announcement too:
- Discuss together when and how you’ll announce
- Consider whether they want to be present for key announcements
- Decide whether to share the news together or if you’ll tell your own family/friends
- Respect each other’s wishes and compromises on announcements
This is an exciting time for both parents-to-be!
Announcing to Friends
Once immediate family are told, you may want to start telling close friends before a wider social media announcement. Alternatively, tell them at the same time.
Those struggling with fertility may appreciate a personal message before your news goes public. See the sensitivity tips below.
Telling Friends and Extended Family
Once immediate family are told, you’ll probably be excited to share the news with friends. It’s worth thinking about how to handle this:
- Tell very close friends first before wider announcements
- Prioritise telling friends facing fertility struggles privately
- Consider sending personal messages before social media announcements
- But don’t feel like you have to tell everyone individually! Social media is fine too
With extended family like cousins and grandparents, you may want to reach out personally. But don’t worry too much about telling every family member individually before announcing publicly.
Talking to Children About It
When and how to tell any existing children depends on their age:
- Young children – Wait as long as possible, like around 20 weeks, as 9 months feels like forever to a toddler. Use books and roleplaying with dolls to explain.
- Older children – May be easier for them to understand, but still make sure they feel involved and reassured they’re still important.
Informing Your Employer
You should inform your employer of the pregnancy by 15 weeks before your due date in the UK, along with when you intend to start maternity leave.
Don’t worry – you’re legally protected from discrimination or unfair treatment due to your pregnancy. See www.gov.uk for your full maternity rights.
Pregnancy Announcement Ideas
Once immediate family and friends know, a social media post is a popular way to share the wider announcement. Some fun ideas:
- Photo of baby shoes or outfit
- Ultrasound scan picture
- Pregnant tummy outline
- Sign or chalkboard with announcement message
- Your other children revealing the news
Just be wary of making your news public before informing employers or those trying to conceive.
Alternative Announcement Ideas
If you want an announcement beyond social media, some fun alternatives are:
- Telling your parents with custom grandparents mugs/frames
- Sending close friends custom fortune cookies or biscuits with your news
- Having your other kids wear “I’m going to be a big sister/brother” tees
- Putting an ultrasound pic in a greeting card for extended family
- Doing a creative photoshoot with chalkboard or props
Get creative and personalise your announcement in whatever way feels special!
Sensitive Announcements
If you have a friend struggling with fertility problems, here are some tips for telling them sensitively:
- Inform them privately before a group or public announcement
- Don’t give explicit details about conception or symptoms
- Don’t offer platitudes like ‘your time will come’
- Avoid discussing pregnancy aches and pains
- Reassure them your friendship is still important
See fertility support organisations for more advice.
After Pregnancy Loss
It’s natural to feel anxious announcing a pregnancy after previous loss. Take things at your own pace and seek support from organisations like Tommy’s, Miscarriage Association or blogs like @featheringtheemptynest.
Final Tips
- Only share your news when you feel ready
- Ask loved ones to keep it secret until you announce publicly
- Focus on your own wishes rather than expectations
- However you choose to announce your news, enjoy this special moment in your life
The most important thing is doing what feels right for you and your baby. Congratulations on your pregnancy!
Photo by Kaylee Garrett on Unsplash
Zoom Baby is a leading supplier of Pregnancy Tests and Ovulation Test Kits
